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The Dark Masquerade [04 Oct 2014|09:21am]

Oh beautiful child
How foolish you’ve been
To capture the eye of the
Unseelie king

Older than ages, and cold is he
Whose eyes have seen more than eternity
His inhuman beauty is flawed so they say
When he walks through the forests of winter by day,

The screams of his victims
Forever replayed
His pleasure, their torment
His nature... depraved
Yet your heart beat came quick
When he glanced in your way
Just to dance in those arms at the
Dark Masquerade

Refuse and deliver
Your life in your hands
He will not release you
By will or by chance
And now he draws nearer
You step forwards, entranced
Now and forever
Unseelie Romance

Safeguard your soul, or hurl it away
Relinquish the longing that lead you astray
Your cheeks they are flushed
Lips parting
Thoughts stray
I begin to think now you forever shall stay
Here in his kingdom
And under his sway

Entrapped by incaution
And forever enslaved
In the Court of his Winter
To the end of all days
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[24 Nov 2012|10:42am]

glow stick bunny ears
hot bunnies and bass
water bottles
blow down
don't burn anyone here
don't shove
peace and love 
stand or sit 
and bob
get lost
in the dark
in the song
in the the thought
hands up
hands on 
cop a feel 
green lights
welcome to your
new life
hiding spots
bombs and gangs
joints and blunts
cigarettes and
gay men gay men gay men
where are all them dyke bunnies at?
slow it down
make out
should be having sex
right now
text message
held up
to the sky
never heard like this before
switched up
built up
climax soon
bobbin in front of you
bent knees
feet apart
fist pumpin
hair whipping
round and round
with all the bunnies just
bobbin to the sound
a dead mouse
antler ears
fuck yeah
drum and bass
and a taste of
em dee em eh
crowd surfing
with the bunnies 
at the rave
with the dj
and we're eating
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My Army Man, But Not Really... [01 Sep 2009|02:13am]

[ mood | sleepy ]

see my journals for more poems...

I once dreamt of him being sent to a battle
My army man firm on the outside
yet meek and mild on the inside
How i feared, him being out of my reach
the one I love be put to harm

my dream was so clear that it felt so real
each of them dropped down one by one
the thought that he might be next
awakened greatly my anxious soul

so i saw myself running towards the unknown
wishing he'll be standing safe and warm
but the war was tragic
he was nowhere to be found
and i find my heart being torn apart

every direction i run i see fallen soldiers
another flood of pain broke within me
streaks of tears poured and blinded my vision
but my hope didn't falter

and there he was injured but alive
but by his side a woman holding him so dear
i forgot that he wasn't actually mine to care
my efforts washed down the drain

the dream and reality collapsed
he was never mine but still i believed
my army man fighting at his best for a life
but a life that isn't mine but of his precious one

copyright 31th of August 2009 by Blair1809

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I can't imagine being weaker... [30 Aug 2009|08:31pm]


I can't imaging being weaker
Than that I am in front of those
Who trying hard pretending "bigger"
To set themselves in certain pose

Of being taller and too wordish
Of being smarter all the world
Creating piles of five-star-sortishs
That all around can't afford

They never see the other strata
And their truth the only right
They judge, they push, they damp, they get ya
Like've never learned do else than bite

PS: Sorry for my English - it's not my native language. Corrections are welcome. Thanks!
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The Meltdown [26 Jan 2009|09:05am]

That ice burgh is your safety zone 
What happens when it melts? 
Heads down, your headed for the worst, 
Enjoy your last few breaths. 

Behind your back, throw worthless pennies 
That break the water's glass. 
Splitting hairs with cutting edges 
So sharp that they could kill. 
Mirrors showing what is there, 
Reflecting through your past. 
Of days you wished on those bright stars 
that only fade or fall. 
And rainbow's have no pot of gold, 
because they have no end. 
An endless merry-go(es a)round 
They/To add another quarter.
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[03 Jan 2009|01:34am]

If ever I saw you
You'll just forget you ever saw me
I don't want you to
You think what you want...I won't stop you
Break my stride...I'll try to walk on
Taken another shot to dull a needle
Straight through the heart and out the other side
Ribs split, waiting for your smile to put them back in place
I forgot the words you left on my lips...but I haven't forgotten your kiss
I still want to say your words, scream them, why can't I?
I want to forgive and forget everything never said
Words spilled on should-have-beens
I should want to tell you goodbye
And I swear that I've tried everything I could
So now I'm just doing everything I can to try and make this work
But why can't I?
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[25 Dec 2008|05:07pm]

This is good therapy, boy, where my ink dries like blood. I wish I got to draw it from your veins.
You're like a cookie jar of lies I always put my eager hand in. I'm always going back for more believing each time you wouldn't hurt me again.
And since this jar's reaching empty, I guess I have the right to say...tonight I hate you.
You're selfish in your goodbyes.
I hate you for leaving me when you know I need you the most. And because of the position we're in, you're making it so easy to say these things now.
I'd have to be drunk to explain anything to myself, to explain why the person who said they'd always love me and stay with me, even at least be my friend, would leave me in the darkness.
Your heart isn't with me, and you've been heartless lately...so...where exactly did you misplace your heart?
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[22 Dec 2008|05:56pm]

I watch you breathe while I write your name on my wrist...smoking a cigarette and praying for lung cancer. The door closes behind you and I'm left with an empty room that smells like you, your aftershave on my skin and my lipstick all a mess. We were made to fall apart, but I like the thrill of cheap sex and no apologies. I like the way you never call because you tell me you have nothing to say. You stare at me with eyes that whisper this isn't true, and words that convince me it is. I'm your cynical cheap whore and I don't know why I let you in.
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[21 Dec 2008|12:15pm]

The first thing that I say to you
Might be the last thing I say to you
I've got a way with words
Gotten away with silence
For so long, now I'm gonna talk to you
Hi, my name is anything you want it to be.
My name is anything you want.
Secret admirer
Silent stalker
What's the difference anyway?
I want to know you more
Want you to know me, too
Back-order courage I'll just have to wait
The worst thing that I'd say to you
Might be if I said "Hello" to you
I've got a way with words
Gotten away with mumbling
And I wish you couldn't sleep
Just so you could see
Me standing at your door
A quarter until four
I've never been too brave
And how should I behave
When you're standing next to me
You're all I want
And all I need
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[16 Dec 2008|03:57pm]

Goodbye , you're leaving me
Walking backwards along the escalator
I can hear your heels slipping
But you're gaining control
Losing ground to our old role
As couple of the century
Just you and me
Let's see what we can do when we're alone
Maybe life has split-ends, too
Maybe you're as quiet in the crowd as i am
Maybe you're just like me..apart from your own mind

Six feet from the ground
And growing with every note you leave
Under my door
With x's and o's who's to know
What "friends" means when you're still thinking
Everything is backwards and you're the only one i see
When I close my eyes
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[15 Dec 2008|10:15pm]

My happiness is beset in your distance and absence. It rings so obvious in the harsh tones of love songs and lack of kisses to my lips. There are movements I should be busy memorizing, touches I should be feeling, words we should be whispering. And I wish I could press against you, forehead to forehead and tell you with closed eyes and a willing heart that I want you forever. Fingertips reading like braille to eyelashes and lips. The story of our love will be so evident among the skin we wear.
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07.230908 ::just know...nevermind stop. [13 Dec 2008|01:13am]

But just know…

You’ll never be as pretty as them…
             So fuck the make up- its all fake,
             But it helps. So spend the money on those designer socks
 That no one will ever see, because you’re glued to the same old pair of shoes.
             Stick your fingers down your throat, there’s never too much bone.
Smoking on camel cigarettes and taking those white pills.
A chip to the tooth right after braced straight and that’s all (t)he(y)'ll notice.

Tried, but colored hair dyed – the roots are showing..

            Why even bother trying to change….

I guess I understand….because any change would be better then what you have,

                                      Be better then
                                                       what you are.

You’ll NEVER be just good enough.

They look oh so beautiful,
and they've got the talent. They've got the attention,
And you….well …..

….they don't care so much about....
But please go ahead,

             Think about it.

             Rehearse it over and over and over and over
             And over until you’ve had too much.

             Like breathing you’ve had too much.

             Hyperventilating, but you still need more air…

             You’re thinking way too much.         

             Rehearse it over and over and over and over and

            Can’t breathe.

            You're trying and trying and trying and
            Trying to breathe, but have forgotten how.

So you try, harder and harder and

You think more and more, and

More thoughts rush past the bus stop, where people in taxis dream of limos.

   More nerves become shot.

          More air. More thoughts. More lessons to be learned. More things forgotten.

               More quick short breaths


What do you do when your taxi driver puts the brakes and your world just…

Still you cant breathe, forgotten how.
 Trying to remember… 

But that’s something you shouldn’t think about…
So why do you think about it ALL the time.


Stop trying. Stop caring. Stop thinking. Stop obsessing.
Stop trying to remember. Stop thinking. Stop breathing.
Stop caring.
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[10 Nov 2008|12:47am]

It was supposed to be a one night stand i guess

but those never seem to work out for me

those one night deals

he asked for my number as i drove him home the next morning

i didnt give it to him

"i had so much fun with you last night" he told me

[with a smile on his face as he rolled down the window]

i kept my eyes straight ahead on the road

acting like i was uninterested in his words

"your lips are so soft. I could kiss them all day"

i didnt give him my number.

i asked again where he lived

he told me the long way

he was trying to figure me out

i wasnt letting him know me as a person

we were strangers with booze in our veins last night

both looking for a little comfort thats all..

he managed to say all the right thing on the ride home

that a stupid naive girl would want to hear

i shouldve mentioned to him that "sweet talk"

doesnt work with a girl who's heard it all before

i dropped him off in front of his house

Bye's and smiles were exchanged

but not numbers

i drove away smiling thinking of the night before

knowing, he'd eventually get my number...


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[25 Oct 2008|09:53pm]

Burned memories

Behind every picture tells a story.
Our story went up in flames.
The fire that once made us cling to each other
Burned out some time ago,
Leaving shredded pieces of us on the floor
of a smoke filled room.

The phone rings and no one answers.
Surprisingly, I’m still on your mind.

[But for all the wrong reasons]

You weren’t on my mind that night
I was preoccupied.
[It’s about time.]

I’d prayed one day this is how it’d be
You finally realizing that you care about me
My prayers stopped when reality sunk in
All your lies now spread across the floor
And I’ve realized that I don’t care anymore

Happiness is making me smile
That’s always been the last thing you seemed to do
My thoughts of you have been stored away
in the back of my mind for now

a picture tells a story
our story went up in flames
and I didn’t even try to put it out.
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thinker [25 Oct 2008|09:48pm]

It’s the things that you say from afar
That I hear the most
Words leak from your mouth
Into the head of a thinker
No replies, no contact, no time
My name dies as it comes off your lips
Apologies never leak from your wicked mouth
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Beautiful Drowning [25 Oct 2008|09:42pm]

water fills my lungs
please just let me go

dont try to save me

theres nothing to live for if i dont have you

and i dont

just let go..
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saved silence [17 Oct 2008|11:22pm]

i love silence.
but not when its because you havent called.

make a noise
anything but silence
thats when i tend to think too much

make a noise
anything but a dial tone

i save your voicemails
for times like these...

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fogged memories [17 Oct 2008|08:41pm]

your words sound so innocent
while your actions are the sin
i stare at your lips
as you tell me your secret stories
my seatbelt holds me back from temptation
yet the air bags always seem to go off
radio music sets our mood
lust fills our thoughts
and through the fogged up windows
you sing to me
with a smile on your face.

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[17 Oct 2008|08:25pm]

its the thought of you
that makes me smile
my eyes slowly close
and your lips appear
clearer than when my eyes are open
the touch of your tongue on my lips
brings me to my knees
to where i unbutton your soul
and take you in
your hand touches my face
i come to my feet
you look me in my eyes
knowing that youre never enough for me
you kiss me again...

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Shangri-La [08 Feb 2008|08:16pm]
 Came to me on a lullaby of night and stars and cool winter air.  And in case you didn't know, the term Shangri-La is in similar context and meaning to the terms Eden, Paradise, Heaven, etc. 

See if YOU can find the deeper meaning. 

[Ode to thine Shangri-La...]

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